So there's something about Boston that I really don't understand. I take that back. There's a LOT about Boston I don't understand, but there's one thing that really bugs me. And that thing is skateboards.
Maybe I've just lived in Ohio for too long, but last time I checked, using a skateboard as a legitimate means of transportation was only cool if you were under the age of 12. Or Tony Hawk, but he uses it as a career, not transportation, but I digress.
The 18-25 year old male demographic in Boston has a thing for skateboards. Granted, it's mostly college students, but I did once see a man in a suit on one, and some of the guys look to be at least graduate students. I fail to understand the draw. Not only does it not really seem significantly faster than walking, but the noise is terrible and then you have to look even stupider by carrying a skateboard around with you when you're indoors.
And to really top it off, these are not small skateboards. I would estimate the average one at about 4.5 feet long. Seriously. I'm just waiting to see some poor old lady carrying her groceries home get plowed into by some careless 22 year old idiot who thinks he's cool enough to ride a skateboard on a crowded city sidewalk.
I have news for all you Tony Hawk wanna-bes. You're not cool. In fact, your "coolness rating" goes down in correlation to the size of your skateboard. If you wonder why you're single it's because no self-respecting woman is going to hop on your skateboard to ride off into the sunset. So go back to your upper middle class upbringing in the suburbs and ride there, brooding about how cool you look and where you can pick up some great guyliner.
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